Have you ever been in a situation where your expectations were not met? Maybe you worked on a project and you gave it your all but things didn’t work out as expected. How did you feel afterwards?
Or better still, did you get some bad news? Did you lose a loved one? Or maybe you were diagnosed with a disease with no known cure? What kind of thoughts filled your mind? What kind of emotional response did you have?
I know how it feels to get mad, to get so angry that you are confused about how exactly you ought to feel. I also know I am not alone in this because at one point or the other, a few of us, especially those of us who are quite emotional, have had this experience.
During this period of my life, I couldn’t pray. I would read my bible but I found it difficult to open my mouth to pray because I felt God was the Almighty and I had no right to question Him. I got so clogged up with my emotions that I just cried all the time. I was too scared to talk to God because I had so many questions for Him. I was disappointed. I was mad! Imagine being angry at one of your parents, are you bold enough to confront them? I am sure your answer is No. I thought as much! Even though these two scenarios are similar, there is still a vast difference. God is not like man, so He is not like our parents.
While going through this turmoil and conflict in my heart, I remembered the book of Lamentations in the bible; Jeremiah lamented, or complained, throughout this book. I also remembered David and the book of Psalms; anytime he got frustrated or disappointed, he poured out his heart to God, crying to Him. This revelation gave me the confidence to pour my heart out to God, to express exactly how I felt. I cried, I wailed, I questioned and I screamed. I knew that God’s love for me was and is unconditional, and my relationship with Him could survive this period of frustration, anger and questioning.
Did I get my answers? Not exactly. What I did get was a release from the turmoil I was going through. I finally felt lighter because I had poured out my heart. I finally felt that peace I had heard so much about and had read in the bible.
Were things different? Did my situation change? Did the issue magically get resolved? No, it didn’t’. In fact, the situation was exactly the same, but the difference was my attitude.
Our attitude or response in times of frustration matters a lot. It determines the outcome of the situation – whether we wallow in depression or we move on in serenity.
The next time you get frustrated and angry at God, know that you are not alone. Also remember that it’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to pour out your heart to Him. He can handle it. His love for you is unconditional. Feel free to express yourself to Him.
Stay hopeful, find your purpose!
Facebook: Livingfreetolive//Kemi Olawaiye-Dampson
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