make-up by log cosmetics. www.logcosmetics.com
I have always said life is an OXYMORON – it is usually bittersweet. In my case, it was sweet-bitter because the sweet aspect came before the bitter aspect.
Three years ago, the joy that came with being a mother for the very first time was however short-lived in my life. Barely a few days after this joyous moment, I started experiencing strange symptoms. I ended up at the hospital more times than I expected, and I had several tests carried out on me. This was not how I thought my life, as a new mom, would be. I was confused, sad and scared. I had been losing weight uncontrollably and I was very weak. I could not carry my baby. I had become so emaciated that I could hardly do anything for myself, eating and breathing had become too difficult. I needed help with everything even the basic hygiene. I was angry and could not pray. All I wanted was to close my eyes and it would have just all been a dream. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, and I just wanted to be a wife, a mom, and a doctor. This experience was my introduction to the medical condition known as Myasthenia Gravis.
Three weeks after the birth of my baby, my condition had deteriorated to the point that I could not even complete a sentence because breathing had become almost impossible. Furthermore, I could no longer swallow anything but water. I remember thinking that morning that my life was over and I was going to leave my newborn nursing baby on this earth alone; I had given up, I didn’t have the strength to fight anymore because I had been fighting for my life since the day I got home after delivery. I was tired so I told my husband to take me to the hospital to die there. This was the day my diagnosis was made, and it was the beginning of the longest, most painful and challenging journey of my life.
I was immediately admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) and put on a lot of medications. Through out my stay in the hospital, I was miserable; I questioned God, and I wondered, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” After a while of questioning without getting answers, I accepted my fate, and I surrendered to God for healing. My condition eventually improved enough for me to be discharged home; I was happy because I thought it was all over, little did I know that this was just the beginning of a different type of life for me – a life filled with dependence on other people, one filled with extreme constant debilitating fatigue.
After being home for sometime, the reality of the condition hit me and I started asking again, “Why me?” I lived in self-pity and depression for two years, all the while having relapses despite my effort to avoid triggers for the disease. Although I constantly felt sorry for myself, I never gave up hope that God could perform a miracle in my life. I held onto Him like the air I breathe, and I meditated on scriptures from the Bible as often as possible. The thought of my daughter was my motivation to keep fighting daily.
Finally during my last relapse in October 2015, God showed up. He revealed to me my purpose in life and gave me the freedom to live again. This was when I got the inspiration to make my book, “LIVING WITH MYASTHENIA GRAVIS” a reality. It was also when LIVINGFREETOLIVE was birthed; it is an organization dedicated to giving hope and support to people living with myasthenia gravis or any other medical condition with no known cure.
We, at Livingfreetolive, hope to achieve this by:
- Providing assistance in the diagnosis and treatment of Myasthenia Gravis
- Helping affected individuals learn how to cope with the condition through interactive support systems.
- Helping affected individuals build their self-esteem, knowing that they can still achieve their dreams inspite of the condition.
- Teaching affected individuals to remain hopeful and productive, instead of dwelling in the misery of the condition.
Leave a Comment