FINDING MY WAY BACK TO ME!!!

I believe that we each have a purpose here on earth. While on my journey, I lost myself and I got stuck. I had a lot of questions but no answers. I didn’t know how to approach God about it, so every time I sat/knelt down to pray I didn’t know what to say. Whenever I opened my bible to read, I had no idea where to start so I just stared at it for hours until I had to go to work or go to bed then I closed it.

I continued this way until one day my brother recommended a movie to me – The Shack (I will talk about this in another post). The first time I watched this movie, I knew it was deep and there were a lot of lessons in it for me but I couldn’t connect because I was just too numb to feel anything. The only emotions I felt were irritation and confusion; and as a result of this I was clogged and I could hardly hear God speak to me. I felt stuck and didn’t know what to do with my life. I didn’t know how to move forward.

After being like this for a few more days, I decided that since I couldn’t pray or read my bible, I would just keep watching this movie over and over again until I heard God speak to me again. And as expected, He did teach me a few things through this movie. (I will share those lessons later when I talk about the movie)

Eventually, I decided to finish a book I started reading a few weeks prior to this occurrence; it was called “Yarns of Inspiration I” written by Ama Duncan. This book jolted me back to reality! First of all, it voiced out thoughts I had in my head and this made me feel like there was someone out there with dreams and desires similar to mine. The difference between us was that she was up and about making those dreams a reality. In a weird way and to my surprise, this book got me out of my confused state; it gave me the will-power to move forward. It reminded me that I had a purpose I was yet to fulfil and it would be disastrous for me to give up simply because I got stuck.

I now have the desire to get up each day to achieve my goals, knowing that all I have to do is take it one step at a time till I am fully back to my original excited state. I am slowly finding my way back to me, and I won’t give up until I get there.

Have you ever been in this kind of state? Do you feel like you lost yourself or your will to go on? I know how it feels to be there, but as my sister kept saying to me, “it’s okay to be sad and to feel how you do, just don’t stay in that state for too long”. I am also saying the same thing to anyone going through something similar – Don’t stay there too long. Find something or someone to inspire you to get up and get on with life.

Life is too short to say too long in this kind of phase, and time waits for no one.

Your life is an inspiration.

Stay hopeful …. Find your purpose!

Email: kemi@livingfreetolive.org

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